Thank you, Paul
When Breath Becomes Air is a memoir written by Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon who, at the height of his career, is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.
It brought me to tears and made a profound impact on my idea of time, and how we ultimately spend one rotation of the Earth and one orbit around the sun.
The book narrates his transformative journey from a medical student curious about the workings of the human mind, to a neurosurgeon treating patients, and then becoming a patient himself. He grapples with life’s biggest questions, seeking to understand what makes life meaningful when faced with inevitable death.
When it comes to relationships, Paul offers deep insights, particularly regarding his relationship with his wife, and the future relationship he won’t get to have with his young daughter. As much as I hug and kiss my own daughters, reading his story reminded me to never forget the fleeting moment of my lips on their cheeks, or their hearts pressed against mine.
Faced with his impending mortality, the bond between him and his wife deepens, illustrating that relationships require constant effort, understanding, and can thrive even in adversity. His openness about his struggle strengthens their bond and helps them navigate through the uncertainty of his diagnosis.
Paul’s experience on both sides of the doctor-patient divide provides a unique perspective on empathy. His circumstance enables him to fully empathize with his patients, reminding us that empathy involves a deep understanding of others’ experiences, pains, and joys. As Freud once said; “Unprejudiced objectivity.”
As a doctor, he learns to recognize and value the emotional experiences of his patients; as a patient himself, he experiences first-hand the necessity of empathy in medical practice.
His story teaches that it is not only about pursuing what we love but also about finding purpose and meaning in it. Despite his cancer diagnosis, he continues to work, not because he’s oblivious to his fate, but because he finds fulfillment and meaning in his work. He doesn’t let his illness define him; instead, he continues to seek knowledge and contribute to his field.
Paul’s story is a profound narrative about facing mortality, cherishing relationships, exercising empathy, and relentlessly pursuing our passions with grace and resilience. It serves as a testament to the tenacity of the human spirit and the pursuit of meaning even in the darkest of times. Make his book your next read, I know it will make an indelible mark on you as it has on me.
Thank you, Paul.
