So What Do You Do?

I recently read an article from the BBC titled “Why you shouldn’t ask people what they do,” and it got me thinking about a specific chapter in my book, “You’re Already Dead,” particularly the chapter “The Things We Do for Money.” This reflection brings forth my viewpoint about the deeper significance of our interactions when meeting strangers or catching up with old acquaintances.

The article explores the often-uncomfortable question, “What do you do?” Yasaman Hadjibashi, a top executive, chooses to respond vaguely to this question. She says, “I would like people to get to know me before they know my credentials,” illustrating a deliberate effort to separate her professional identity from her personal self. This made me think about how our jobs, while important, should not encapsulate our entire identity.

In my book, I delve into the notion that our vocations, while crucial, do not wholly define us. As I wrote, “For many of us, though, a dream job could be something we don’t particularly enjoy doing, but it compensates us well and allows enough free time to live our life to the fullest when we’re not working.” This perspective underscores the idea that our work, for so many, often a means to an end, is just one aspect of our multifaceted lives.

The BBC article further highlights that identifying solely through work can lead to a fragile sense of self, which is especially vulnerable during times of job loss or career change. It suggests that “creating a multifaceted identity is especially relevant,” an idea that aligns seamlessly with the narrative in my book. Our jobs are part of who we are, but they’re not the entirety of our existence.

Moreover, the societal emphasis on job titles and professional success can often overshadow the richness of our human experience. In my chapter, I reflected, “Your time on Earth is not defined by your job unless it positively impacts other people, your community, or Nature.” It’s about the legacy we leave, the connections we make, and the lives we touch, far beyond our professional achievements.

So, over the years, when people have asked me, “What do you do?” I wouldn’t know how to answer it and often felt awkward afterwards. My first thought is to say that I’m an entrepreneur. But then I don’t, because I know that answer could be interpreted in many ways and might open up more lines of questioning. Because as I approach my late 30s, I can look back on my career thus far, and mostly it’s always been self-employment, or working within small businesses. Am I an author? Marketer? Business consultant? Artist? A Freelancer, perhaps? So now, when I get asked that question, I usually just answer with a smile, “I’m a full time Dad.”

In essence, the article and my book converge on a similar message: we are more than our job titles and professional achievements. Our conversations, especially upon first meetings or reunions, should be more about discovering the person behind the job. It’s about understanding their passions, values, and the essence of what truly makes them unique. It’s about cherishing the human experience in its entirety, embracing the various facets that make us who we are. So, the next time you find yourself in a conversation, perhaps ask, “What inspires you?” or “What are your passions?” You might just uncover the most beautiful parts of a person, well beyond their professional persona.

Thank you for reading.